Comments Classical Singers Receive and How to Respond

I can’t tell you how many random people I’ve had tell me I should go on America’s Got Talent. I can’t tell you how many people ask me why I go to school for singing. When I was younger, these comments and questions would embarrass me to no end. Often I would get angry and lecture the person who I was talking with. Now that I’m a little older and wiser, I realize how ridiculous this response happens to be. First of all, not everyone is trying to embarrass you. Some people are, but not everyone. Once I got over myself, I was able to judge intent and responding accordingly.

I started taking voice lessons when I was twelve, so I never felt like I didn’t know about the classical singing industry. I always knew how intense and precious this artform is. And I never underestimated what it would take to be a master of the craft. In all reality though, the average person does not know what goes behind being a musician. They don’t even know that singing is a learned skill. They think that some people are just naturally gifted, and there is no way to improve. When I tell them I’ve been training for over ten years, it comes as a surprise. And now, none of this bothers me.

When someone makes an assumption about what I do, that is incorrect, I take a moment. First, if it is coming from a place of genuine ignorance, I decide, based on the energy I have and the vibe they are giving off, whether I will politely inform them or whether I will just nod my head and agree. If they are trying to show off or condescend, I do the same thing as I described above.

I am performer, and while this art form is an amazing feat of the human body and mind, my purpose is to touch other peoples heart and minds. My art form is one of empathy, grace, and supreme generosity. My art form is not elitist, snobby, or exhibitionist. Why would I communicate otherwise?

That all being said, if you’ve ever said one these things to a classical singer, please, don’t you dare feel bad about it. It’s our responsibility as singers to share what we do with you. If anyone wants a blog post on opera stereotypes debunked or just basic knowledge of opera and how to get into it, let me know in the comments.

Here are a list of the most uncomfortable comments classical singers often receive, and my usual responses to them.

You’re very small to be an opera singer.

Response: “We come in all shapes and sizes!”

I keep it short and sweet to shut this down kind of quickly. The reality is, there is a stereotype that all opera singers are six feet tall, and that they must be to have such large voices. This is an odd stereotype to me, because size of stature doesn’t correlate to size of voice whatsoever.

I love Phantom of the Opera.

Response: “Me too!”

There isn’t really any sense in letting them know that Phantom of the Opera is not a “real” opera. They hire classical singers for a lot of those roles do they not? It may be hokey, but the music is catchy, and if that’s someone’s only exposure to classical singing, then why ruin it for them? That’s like you saying you love a movie and someone telling you how horrible it is, because it’s derivative or predictable. BOOO. Knock it off.

Have you heard [insert child prodigy]?

Response: “You know, I don’t know a lot about them.”

This is one thing, with strangers, I try not to touch with a ten foot pole. The issue of child prodigies in opera is complex, and they don’t really even exist. Not all the time, but more often than not, it’s an ignorant exploitation of a child, who is good at imitating a sound. Without being versed in knowledge of the voice and its mechanism, it’s quite the task to explain the difference between natural and forced vibrato, and the overall maturity of someone’s voice.

You should go on America’s Got Talent.

Response: “You know, unfortunately, they don’t really offer the kinds of opportunities I would be looking for in this career.”

And if they ask you what those opportunities are, you tell them! “I would still need to audition for staged productions, and winning would give me no advantage in that part of the industry.” People that win reality tv shows singing opera are rarely swept up for management. If they come back with, “yeah, but you could win a lot of money,” you can say, “it would take too much time and energy away from what I’m working for right now.” This one is tricky and may require a little bit of dialogue as I’ve described.

I didn’t know that was something you have to go to school for.

Response: “The training is pretty intense, and my conservatory has top notch instructors.”

This comment can feel particularly demeaning, but often, people have no idea about what it takes to be a professional musician. Part of me, is actually okay with this. I mean, part of the magic is making it look natural and effortless right? Then another part of me wants to show people the true depth and complexity of this craft. For now, I’ll settle for somewhere in between. If someone isn’t versed in the amount of study classical singing requires, I tell them it’s very complex, but I don’t lecture them. We want people to come see us. We want people to feel like what we do is human, real, and exciting. After all, a life in the arts is a life of service. It is our duty to share the gifts we’ve been given, not to guard it from everyone. When someone asks me to sing at a party randomly, when an uber driver asks to “hear a line,” I generally oblige if I’m in good voice. If you’re shy, that’s something entirely different, and I understand entirely why you wouldn’t. I’m not shy though, so I have no excuse. I’m not a star, and even if I was, I don’t think my purpose will ever be beneath my pay grade.

All headshots by Tim Sherer. Follow him on Instagram @faded.shutter