You're Supposed to Struggle. Especially in the Beginning.

My parents always said that their twenties were the most difficult time of their lives. When I turned twenty-one, I thought, “yeah okay, right.” In my junior year of college, I was succeeding in school, was in a long term relationship, going out for the first time with my best friend every weekend, and thought I was a shoe-in for grad school. Fast forward to senior year: I was single, rejected from everywhere I applied to for my graduate degree, and working two jobs that were not related to singing. Less than a year later, I broke down, and thought, “what am I doing here?” I got a job as a voice teacher, and got in to grad school. Things were on track. The following summer, I had to have a tonsillectomy. Absolutely terrifying and almost financially ruinous. However, I made a full recovery and came back singing better. Now, I’m struggling with keeping hope alive for the future of live classical music amidst other personal struggles. 

I recognize that life is hard no matter what stage you’re in. I now know that I’m okay with that. I’m not expecting things to magically become easy at some point. I just know I’m always going to keep going. Having been “in my 20s” for four years now, I know that part of what made my struggles seem so hard was, in fact, that I was just beginning. When you’re not prepared for struggle, things are harder. Plucky optimism is great, but grit is greater, and that is really only built with life experience. 

Each year gives me new wisdom, that often makes me say, “man I wish I could’ve seen that back then.” I wish I would never have diminished or tried to hide any part of myself in particular relationships. I wish I would not have worried about how fast other people were winning singing competitions. I wish I would have not wasted so much time being afraid of what was coming next. But the fact is, I didn’t see certain things back then, and I have zero regrets. I’ve finally arrived at a point of acceptance. Acceptance of what was and the ability to let it go. Most importantly, acceptance for the uncertainty of what is to come. Because, even in healthy, pandemic-free times, nothing is certain. Your wisdom, grit, and yes, youthful optimism will get you through. 

WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: Our inspiration was one of my favorite shoots of Marilyn ever done. Peep the photo below! All these photos were taken by Natalia Baqueiro. You can visit her Instagram by clicking here! Follow and book her! Her photo quality is absolutely stunning, and she is such a beautiful person to work with!